The Dancer by Evelyn Juers

Author:Evelyn Juers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Giramondo Publishing

Philippa dreamed that she was at one of her mother’s parties and somebody asked when she was going home. I answered that I lived there.

She talks incessantly about her mother. Stockhausen asks her to stop.

Receives a letter from David Ahern, reassuring her of their friendship.

Dreamed that she was trying to produce UTTER and the audience in the auditorium comprised all the keys of an enormous organ. I set people going with sounds, first slowly then fast. It didn’t work…I was relying on their intuition…about to run in screaming when I realised I didn’t have on a costume, nor did others.

Mid December she hears from David Smith, with whom she had built theremins at Tin Sheds. Having discovered what all young travellers discover, that communication is a problem when you live in a foreign country, he had been in Besançon to learn French and now lived in Paris. He said he wants to have a go at the consumer-capitalistic society and has broken away completely from any ideas of continuing with kinetic art and is against the art market. Is beginning to question the value of rhetoric and has come to realise how art is used as propaganda to glorify and sustain culture. He is working on resolving these problems. Why are we artists? He has a good job as an art critic and has taken up meditation.

About a week before Christmas, Philippa came to Brussels to meet her mother and sister. She feels inconvenienced and would have preferred to get on with her studies and work. She was impatient to pursue her ideas. Thinks that life would be easier without parents, to be an orphan like Stockhausen. In Brussels she got off at the wrong station, wandered around, had a meal, found a hotel and then discovered by pure chance her mother and sister were there too. But Fiona had also been lost and was crying because she thought they’d missed Philippa. Fiona was very stressed, because of a decision she had to make: she wanted to live with her father, but thinks that would destroy her mother.

At the hotel in Brussels Philippa dreams about interplanetary warfare. She and her brother were horrified. One of the Martians took pity on us and drove us back. She was dressed in rags but saw that George and his friends were all dressed in rich fantastic coloured silky clothes. For their exclusiveness, she spat on them and insulted them and she and a friend went looking for trouble. The Martians travelled in a kombivan and had used her old place in Glebe for landing. People looked dead but were really only stunned. She found a child and fed it and dressed it and gave it a book to learn the language and sent it outside to play with other children. Her father had a lover and her mother was madly jealous, a tragic figure.

Increasingly she dreams of pregnancy, birth, finding or being given a child and looking after it.

A dream of driving with a friend in a flood.

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